drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
