R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
