it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
