I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize