all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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