we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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