I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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