The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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