A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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