I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
