if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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