you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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