I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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