:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize