I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize