look no pants
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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