We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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