Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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