1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
