I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
