I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
