Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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