Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
