yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
