I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
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dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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