Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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