Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.