made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...