dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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