From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
