Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
