He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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