If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
