marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
