he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
