He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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