If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
