adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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