We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
