All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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