The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
