it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
