We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
