And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize