If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
