If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
