Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
