OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize