OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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