In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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