Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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