whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
