Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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