it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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