$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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