Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
