Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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