My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
