are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
