You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
