He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he fucked my hip out of place.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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