First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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