In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just want nice things and good sex
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
