my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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